Encounter a danzig? Pray that he spares you!

It is a much known fact that the enigma we have come to know as "Danzig" is immortal and the definition of evil. No one really knows the true story that is Danzig, how he became, how old he is, does gender even dare to categorize him, will he spare me? All of these are question that we here at ghostboner look to answer. Obviously this cant be summed up in a blog post but we sure can try. From my research it has been learned that Danzig has been around since the dinosaurs roamed the earth, Many paleontologists theorize that He is what caused their ultimate demise. Apparently they wanted to bang heads with him. despite his numerous warnings in the texts of mother. I have also uncovered this quotation from a civil war soldier who claimed to be spared by the Danzig upon his encounter.

"he appeared there, in the mist, next to a great oak, charred to a blackened faggot
by the days battle, coated in the blood of our fallen brothers. In each hand he
carried the limb of a soldier - one of ours, and one of theirs. I coughed, as I had
been taken by whooping cough the week before, and by the time I looked back up, he
had covered nearly 60 yards on foot, killing every man between him and me. As I sat
weeping in my own urine, he passed me by, never looking my way."

The Danzig we know today has invented music as a way for him to channel his evil into the minds of our children, both through his rocking power and menacing lustful stare. sometimes accompanied by a bicep flex, and always shirtless. It seems the only shirts they make that can handle the heat of his evil skin is that of a mesh tank top.

Danzig is also asexual, meaning he Can produce evil offspring my himself. he needs no field to plant his seed. his seed plants itself and manifests under the power of a full moon. Many things have been traced back to him via the MPTA (Maury Povich Testing Authority) Hitler, chupacabra, Charles Manson, 3 of the jackson 5, and that guy who invented moon shoes.

If you happen to encounter the Danzig there are several steps you can take to avoid your demise.
#1 Obviously dont look him in the eyes, or the belt buckle. both will turn you to a charred pile of ash within seconds.
#2 Urinate in your trousers. This is seen to the Danzig as a sign of submission, and he likes pee.
#3 You can try to out flex him. You will likely fail but it is possible. You absolutely must rip your sleeves off first, and howl at the moon.
#4 Punch him in the face, he seems to be vulnerable when getting punched in the face by large fat metal singers. hmm go figure.

The truth about the beast uncovered via numerical code.

We here at ghostboner have been working diligently trying to uncover the truth behind all things "evil". You know like demons, ghouls, goblins (also includes goblins of the hobbing nature otherwise known as "hobgoblins"), amish people, and satan himself.
The christian right have been pulling the amish grown wool over our eyes for years with their 666 theorem of being the nomenclature of evil. why 666 you ponder? It is merely a distraction from the true code to evil, just look at it. The digits alone are curvaceous and pleasing to the wondering eye. Perhaps a perfect distraction from the true code...

49

Why 49 you ask? its simple. We all know that a good run of luck comes to an end eventually with something bad, something frightening, something "evil". The square root of 49 being 7, the supposed lucky digit. The very digit that has emptied our pockets as we search for it on slot machines throughout the world. Yes the number we all refer to as lucky has been in cahoots with misfortune all along. An act of deception that some may categorize as evil.

Proposed evidence:
1. During the Manhattan Project, plutonium was also often referred, simply, to as "49". Number 4 was for the last digit in 94 (atomic number of plutonium) and 9 for the last digit in Pu-239, the weapon-grade fissile isotope used in nuclear bombs. Yes thats correct nuclear weapons require "49" to work.

2: The number of days and nights Siddhartha Gautama spent meditating as a holy man. The founder of Buddhism spent 49 days "meditating" or in an amphetamine induced coma. Tox screenings were unsuccessful at the time. And if i know anything about Buddhists its that they hate our freedom, and they are highly flammable. A perfect match for the beast himself.

3: Rumor has it that 49 is the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop. You know the evil bastard child of the wonderful blow pop.

4: "There was ragshag bill from buffalo, I never will forget.
He would roar all day and he'd roar all night and I guess he's roaring yet. One day he fell in a prospect hole, in a roaring bad design
And in that hole he roared out his soul, in the days of '49" these are the spoken words of known devil worshipper and professional voiceman Bob Dylan. That sure is a lot of roaring for a "ragshag" man unless he were overtaken by the beast.

In closing please beware the truth. avoid the following on your path to righteousness. The number 49, its accomplice the number 7, anyone named ragshag, amish linens, tootsie-pops, buddhists, flaming buddhists, and of course being hit with a nuclear weapon is bad.