Cop steals xbox

Man those rented police uniforms and stolen car really paid off. Fable 2 is awesome.
By the way did anyone get a look at that TV. Im pretty sure you cant even hook an xbox up to it. next time I'll take those gold toofs too.

Worst idea ever.

Ok, so apparently one of the creators of UFC has been on some heavy hallucinogens. Or maybe he can just be persuaded to put his name on anything. Yes this is arm wrestling... to the MAXX!! apparently its pinfall, knockout, submission, or judges decision. its basically two guys holding hands and fighting as if one was trying to steal the others purse.

How about these cool new sports.
1. Demolition derby where the cars are welded together in pairs.
(id actually watch that now that i think about it... but just because i love welding)

2. Midget volleyball. but with a standard sized net.

3. Sexual sumo, where the idea is to lure the opponent into the circle rather than force them out. Better practice my longing stare.

4. 3 legged extreme racing. you know with obstacles like land mines and broken bottles. ooh and dirty syringes.

Feast: by edwin snickers

Let it be known that henceforth all cinematic adventures shall be made by snickers.

"Meh" Added to Dictionary

Apathy news?... who cares?

Yahoo news reports:

The expression of indifference or boredom has gained a place in the Collins English Dictionary after generating a surprising amount of enthusiasm among lexicographers.

The origins of "meh" are murky, but the term grew in popularity after being used in a 2001 episode of "The Simpsons" in which Homer suggests a day trip to his children Bart and Lisa.

The dictionary defines "meh" as an expression of indifference or boredom, or an adjective meaning mediocre or boring. Examples given by the dictionary include "the Canadian election was so meh."

Canada has elections? I always thought they just took turns deciding things or some other idealistic nonsense system of government. Plus I heard they came up with a submarine with a screen door, hosers!

UFC 91: The New Age of Cock Chestnar

The big guy with the penis on his chest won.

I guess hitting Randy in the head with a truck is his Kryptonite or Communism or whatever Captain America's weakness was, I don't remember. The behemoth known as Cock Chestnar knocked The Natural down with a powerful, well placed blow from his redwood with knuckles, and then proceeded to administer more hammer-fists than a back alley in Tijuana. Some people will most likely claim that Randy Couture is too old, I say that on that day the man was too human. Finally, Brock has a belt to go with his pearl necklace.


... Also, these two guys kissed.

Though, at first, it may seem that it was an accident, anyone who claims such nonsense is clearly homophobic. The ancient Greeks knew the feelings that grow inside a man after engaging in physical combat with another man. Let's not set the human race back thousands of years by denying the beauty and innocence behind this bold display of affection between two fags.

Chicken: the revelation.

For years the world was satisfied with regular old chicken. Then came fried chicken. then came chicken fingers. Then came buffalo wings. This snowball effect of chicken evolution has no plans on stopping now. Not with a revolutionary new theory that we here at ghostboner have been hard at work in the lab creating.
The idea came when a spaniard working in the local wendys drive through kept repeating the phrase "spicy chickens" to himself as we were in line waiting on spicy nuggets. I dont know if he was just trying to remember something or perhaps a prophet of chickens sent to hypnotize me with the phrase "spicy chickens" We laughed it off and drove away. But the seed had already been sewn in my subconcious, making me wonder. What if?
What if using the method popular for dying baby chickens purple when still in the egg could be taken a step further. In the a dye is injected before the egg hardens and turns the feathers colors for easter.Why does it have to be dye? there is no long term gain from this. The feathers just fall out and you are left stuck with a large cock... sorry cant resist a good dick joke. What if the chicken were injected with hot sauge, allowing the embryo to feed off of the hot sauce laden supply contained within the egg. Will this chicken be a spicy chicken? Will it be red? We all know it will have a bad attitude. I imagine he would look something like this, and taste delicious.Stay tuned as one day this will be attempted. hopefully here in the ghostboner labratory.

Great moments of inspiration.

There are time when inspiration comes from the most unforeseen of places. Some inspirations date far enough back that it almost becomes a case of what came first ala chicken or the egg. So we have created 2 timelines of a similar process with different consumer goods.

HONEY
1: Product in natural form.

2: Empty container, looks like suitable means of containment.

3: The prefect fit. Bear + Honey = success.

VS. HEROIN
1: Product in natural form.

2: Empty soul of a container, looks like suitable means of containment.

3: The prefect fit. Heroin + empty human = success.

So which came first the honey mule or the drug mule?
The world may never know.

Seth Petruzelli's Halloween Costume

He better be careful or Kimbo might kick his... oh yeah right, nevermind.

The true origin of... someone.

more the engrish!

When being a child Bruce Wayne had witnessed with his own eyes the fact his parents of millionaire were killed cruelly. So affected his strong desire of Revenging his parents. However, God had never given him a chance to fulfill his will. Following the advice of Raws Al-Ghul - the chief of Ninja Group, Bruce come to Gete, which was a corrupted city filled with various crime groups. Bruce found a basement under his villa that turned him into another person: Spiderman. With this mask Spiderman stroke all criminal activates and criminals everywhere. Such as Tougon, the chief of mafia, Dr. Jackstraw, the abnormal drug trafficker, even a mysterious opponent quite familiar with him

Somehow Batman translated from English back to Engrish becomes Spiderman. I would like to think the translator is a small child who thinks the real synopsis is too boring so he changes some of the details, the way he would like them.

Encounter a danzig? Pray that he spares you!

It is a much known fact that the enigma we have come to know as "Danzig" is immortal and the definition of evil. No one really knows the true story that is Danzig, how he became, how old he is, does gender even dare to categorize him, will he spare me? All of these are question that we here at ghostboner look to answer. Obviously this cant be summed up in a blog post but we sure can try. From my research it has been learned that Danzig has been around since the dinosaurs roamed the earth, Many paleontologists theorize that He is what caused their ultimate demise. Apparently they wanted to bang heads with him. despite his numerous warnings in the texts of mother. I have also uncovered this quotation from a civil war soldier who claimed to be spared by the Danzig upon his encounter.

"he appeared there, in the mist, next to a great oak, charred to a blackened faggot
by the days battle, coated in the blood of our fallen brothers. In each hand he
carried the limb of a soldier - one of ours, and one of theirs. I coughed, as I had
been taken by whooping cough the week before, and by the time I looked back up, he
had covered nearly 60 yards on foot, killing every man between him and me. As I sat
weeping in my own urine, he passed me by, never looking my way."

The Danzig we know today has invented music as a way for him to channel his evil into the minds of our children, both through his rocking power and menacing lustful stare. sometimes accompanied by a bicep flex, and always shirtless. It seems the only shirts they make that can handle the heat of his evil skin is that of a mesh tank top.

Danzig is also asexual, meaning he Can produce evil offspring my himself. he needs no field to plant his seed. his seed plants itself and manifests under the power of a full moon. Many things have been traced back to him via the MPTA (Maury Povich Testing Authority) Hitler, chupacabra, Charles Manson, 3 of the jackson 5, and that guy who invented moon shoes.

If you happen to encounter the Danzig there are several steps you can take to avoid your demise.
#1 Obviously dont look him in the eyes, or the belt buckle. both will turn you to a charred pile of ash within seconds.
#2 Urinate in your trousers. This is seen to the Danzig as a sign of submission, and he likes pee.
#3 You can try to out flex him. You will likely fail but it is possible. You absolutely must rip your sleeves off first, and howl at the moon.
#4 Punch him in the face, he seems to be vulnerable when getting punched in the face by large fat metal singers. hmm go figure.