Amazing Double Knockout

A similar thing happened to me one time during sex, but my lawyer says I'm not allowed to talk about that, because "my version of the events have been challenged in a court of law". Whatever.

foreign people are silly

"I told a high school girl... I love you inside me"

Chris to get tattoo

As the headline suggests, I’m totally getting a tattoo. It’s a tugboat accompanied by the motto “Rock the Boat”. I’m an idiot. That’s my real body by the way. We just photoshopped on a head from a different picture to properly express the deep, thoughtful nature of a man who would get an intentionally idiotic tattoo. By “intentionally idiotic”, I mean totally bitchin’.